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🏠 I only watch for the commercials

Ranking the best tech Super Bowl commercials

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TECH

The Definitive Ranking Of Tech Super Bowl Commercials

As I’m sure most of you are aware, Sunday was the Super Bowl between the Kansas City Chiefs and Philadelphia Eagles. Unfortunately, the Chiefs prevailed and I wasn’t able to go climb poles on Broad Street. Maybe next year.

But, who really cares about football anyway? We’re here to talk about the ads, specifically the ads from tech companies.

Here are the definitive rankings of the 2023 tech Super Bowl commercials.

Good, But Not Top 5

9) Meta “Are We There Yet”: Not super memorable, and just too damn long.

8) Workday “Rock Star”: Everyone likes Rock Stars, but it’s also not 1970 anymore.

7) DoorDash “We Get Groceries”: Good celebrity appearances, but I found myself wanting more. I also don’t DoorDash groceries.

6) GM X Netflix “Why Not An EV”: The Netflix stuff was clever, but hot take alert, I don’t really like Will Ferrell. Feel free to kill me in the replies.

Top 5, Top 5, Top 5

5) Google “Fixed On Pixel”: There’s a lot to like here. Amy Schumer is pretty good, Giannis is Him, Doja Cat is cool, and I definitely wouldn’t mind erasing my ex from some photos. But, I have no interest in sending green texts to my friends. I’m loyal to Apple to the grave.

4) Uber One “One Hit For Uber One”: Pretty good mix of funny, cringy, and nostalgic. I just hate the song “What Does The Fox Say”, so that’s why it’s stuck at #4.

3) Tubi “Interface Interruption”: This one got the fellas pointing fingers at each other quick. Well played Tubi, well played.

2) Squarespace “The Singularity”: Adam Driver could have my babies.

1) Amazon “Saving Sawyer”: What can I say, I love dogs.

Considering that these are the definitive rankings, there isn’t much to debate here. But, if you have a vehement disagreement, please reply to this email or DM me on Twitter. I’d be happy to tell you why you are wrong 🤝.

QUICK HITS

Seed Round

Stat: >50%: Amazon is now taking more than half of each sale from its merchants. Owwww.

Story we're watching: The UFO story is becoming absolutely bonkers. Would an Alien invasion be bullish for bitcoin?

Rabbit hole: The Bizzare And Brutal Final Hours Of FTX (Financial Times)

WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON

THREE LIES AND A HEADLINE

News is so weird these days. Three of these headline are fake stories from The Onion while one is actually true. Can you spot the truth amongst the fakes?

A. Archaeologists Discover Early Humans Developed Shelter To Provide Passive Income Stream For Landlords

B. George Santos Signs With IMG Models

C. On TikTok, Even Canadians Don’t Want To Be Labeled Canadian

D. New FanDuel ‘Double Play’ Contest Offers Users Chance To Win Back House

LAYOFFS TRACKER

Notable layoffs this week

Magic Eden: 22 people

iRobot: 85 people (7%)

Twilio: 1,500 people (17%)

FOUNDERS CORNER

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🤖 Check out the AIcyclopedia: a dictionary of AI tools.

🤝 Cold DMs changed my life. It’s actually how I got this job. That’s why I made a Guide to Cold DMs. 300+ happy downloads.

👾 I’m currently reading Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow. It’s a fun intricate story of 2 video game designers. Good for the imagination.

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