Gm. A good week for Doge-maximalists, not a good week for Forbes 30 Under 30 maximalists.

🏠 STARTUPS

DOJ Files Criminal Charges Against Ex-Startup Founder and Forbes 30u30

Welp another Forbes 30 under 30 got arrested.

Yesterday, the Department of Justice charged Charlie Javice, the founder of financial aid company Frank, of defrauding JPMorgan into buying her startup for $175 million back in 2021.

Her cut of the pie would’ve been $20 million upfront and $21 million later on.

The company Frank was marketed as a tool to help simplify the collegiate financial aid process for students. Javice told JPMorgan that Frank had data for 4.25 million customers when in fact they only had data for 300,000.

When JPMorgan asked for the customer list, Javice paid a data scientist $18,000 to falsify a dataset. JPMorgan then emailed the dataset and saw only 28% of the emails were delivered and 1.1% were opened — far below any similar campaigns they ran. Prosectors say Javice tried to cover up her fraud by paying $105,000 for real data on 4.5 million students. But it was too late.

Javice has been charged with bank fraud, securities fraud, wire fraud, and conspiracy, each of which carries a maximum 20- or 30-year prison term. Her bail is $2 million. In February Javice filed counterclaims accusing JPmorgan of “compromising her reputation” and withholding $28 million of retention payments and equity.

“This arrest should warn entrepreneurs who lie to advance their businesses that their lies will catch up to them, and this Office will hold them accountable for putting their greed above the law,” said US Attorney Damian Williams.

Forbes 30 for 30-Year Terms

“They should just start preemptively arresting anyone on the Forbes 30 Under 30,” wrote Laskie founder Chris Bakke. “Any 22-year-old who's obsessed with becoming a billionaire instead of making friends, having sex, and listening to good music is instantly sus,” wrote economist Noah Smith.

All jokes aside, the Forbes 30 Under 30 list has come under fire over the last year for including accused/convicted fraudsters Charlie Javice (Frank), Elizabeth Holmes (Theranos), Martin Shkreli (Retrophin), and Sam Bankman-Fried (FTX). Chris Bakke tweeted that the 30 under 30 have collectively raised $5.3 billion in funding, but have been arrested for frauds and scams worth over $18.5 billion.

So while it may sound nice to Mom and Dad, maybe it’s time to stop putting Forbes 30u30 in your bio…

Why should I care? 2 reasons: 1) Forbes 30 Under 30 is quickly losing its reputation and prestige in Silicon Valley and 2) Lying about your users to get acquired is a big fat no.

🏠 TWITTER

The Doge App

Wake up babe, Elon is pumping Doge again.

Yep, that’s right, the Chief Twit and Dogecoin enthusiast is once again channeling major 2021 energy, and, in the process, is sending Dogecoin to the moon.

Bird → Doge

For those who don’t know, Dogecoin is a memecoin. Basically, it’s a cryptocurrency built as a joke.

Elon, however, really loves this joke. The self-proclaimed “Dogefather” has on multiple occasions caused Doge’s price to soar. He’s actually promoted Doge so much he’s now being sued over it.

But, a little $258B lawsuit isn’t going to stop the Dogefather from doing Dogefather things.

Enter the new Twitter homepage.

Cya later Twitter bird, this is the Doge house (pound?) now.

The result? A 30% price jump for Dogecoin.

You have to love crypto.

The Big Picture: Dogecoin has no inherent value and was literally built as a joke, but as long as Elon is breathing, it will always have the potential to go parabolic. If the future Twitter Payments product incorporates Dogecoin, as the Doge Disciples are praying for, then hold on to your horses (or Doges).

🏃‍♀️ QUICKIES

What else is going on?

• GQ released a loooong profile on Apple CEO Tim Cook.

• The AirPods case might come with a touchscreen in the future.

• Liquid trees are captivating the internet.

• Venus Aerospace is working on a passenger aircraft that can go Mach 9(!).

Stat: 15 Megawatts: The power rating that the world’s most powerful wind turbine just reached, a new record.

Rabbit hole: His software sang the words of God. Then it went silent. (Inverse)

🤩 Three Lies And A Headline

News is so weird these days. Three of these headlines are fake stories from The Onion while one is actually true. Can you spot the truth amongst the fakes?

A. NCAA Awards Title To Duke In Final Upset Of March Madness

B. Desperate Trump Flees To Remote Island Of Manhattan

C. KFC, Other Chains Hunt For Elusive 4-Pound Chicken

D. Bouncer At L.A. Club Checks IMBD Pages At The Door

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3 Lies Answer:

C.